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    但是

    虽然说,从来没指望没设想过别人的关怀和理解,可是,真要是有人给予主动的姿态,我还真有点扛不住。心里一个劲儿骂自己,怎么这么不经事,其实只是很轻很随意的体谅和鼓励啊,我却如此放大和在意。心里汪洋一片,也只有默不作声,眼睛不能湿,声音也不好哽咽。别人不关心,自己也不觉得艰辛,一有人点破,越觉着自己是挺有理由自娇的,夜里无来由地流眼泪也是正当的,即使有什么错误也是可以被社会原谅的。
    有另三分之一的自卑,来源于不长进的天真。我知趣地认识到自己这个很容易被人轻视的弱点,由于弱到极致,已经放弃徒劳掩饰。在我的世界里,我始终觉得,只要彻底只要足够真诚,所有的邪恶都可以被抵消,所有的错误都可以被忽略,所有的愚蠢都可以被化解,所有的干戈都可以被消融。也正是因为这样的世界观,我一直不遗余力地真诚,没有再比真诚更自信的时刻,无所谓惧地展露真我不包庇瑕疵并浑然不知地自我原谅。可是忘记了,那只是我的世界。

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    leo luowrote:
    愚以为,有“艺术气质”的人都有真诚和天真的“毛病”。。。
    Nov. 9

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